The Eye Opening Things I Discovered About Menopause
Menopause hit me like a freight train, leaving me overwhelmed and searching for answers. It took me a while to piece everything together, but the biggest discovery wasn’t menopause itself. It was realizing how closely menopause and stress were connected. Once I understood that connection, everything started to make sense.
The inner journey I went on was necessary to understand how I ended up where I was and what I needed to do to move forward.
I had battled depression, gained over 40 pounds, and struggled with memory loss. My limbs often felt numb, hot flashes robbed me of sleep, and anxiety became a constant companion. Insomnia, hair loss, low libido, vaginal dryness, and frequent infections only added to the struggle. Looking back, I probably forgot a few symptoms too, thanks to menopause-related brain fog.
Why Were Some Women Struggling Less?
Throughout my journey, I met women who faced the same overwhelming challenges. Surprisingly, I also met women who seemed to move through menopause with very few symptoms. They didn’t gain excessive weight, and hot flashes didn’t keep them awake at night.
That made me curious.
What had they done differently?
Had their lifestyles played a role? Were they in healthier relationships? Or had they simply managed stress differently?
As I dug deeper, I recognized a pattern. Stress had been a major player in my menopause nightmare. I had experienced a lifetime of stress, and when menopause arrived, it felt like the perfect storm.
I tried hormone therapy for two years. While it temporarily helped with hot flashes and sleeplessness, I ultimately decided that long-term medication wasn’t for me. That decision may have worsened my symptoms; or maybe it didn’t. Either way, I learned valuable lessons that I later shared in my book, The Menopause Mindshift, How I Unleashed My Inner Queen, And You Can Too!
The Connection Between Menopause and Stress
Over time, I made a crucial connection: When my stress levels were high, my menopause symptoms worsened.
For years, I had searched for solutions in all the wrong places. I spent money on naturopathic remedies, restrictive diets, and intense workout programs. I desperately wanted relief, but stress had been working against me the entire time.
Like many women, I believed cutting carbs and sugar would help balance my body. However, I didn’t realize that I had suddenly become borderline diabetic. My extreme carb cravings weren’t just bad habits, they were red flags that my metabolism had shifted. Meanwhile, I pushed myself through high-intensity workouts, thinking I was doing the right thing.
Ironically, my efforts backfired. My heart rate soared, and my cortisol levels skyrocketed. Instead of feeling better, my body remained stuck in a state of stress. The more I pushed, the worse I felt.
Dr. Marie Claire Haver, a leading menopause specialist, once said, “There is no ‘cure’ for menopause. It is a natural transition, and every woman must find her own way through it.” That quote resonated deeply because I had been searching for a solution when, in reality, I needed to change my approach.
Instead of trying to control menopause, I had to understand my body and manage stress effectively. That shift in mindset changed everything.
Things I Discovered About Menopause and Self-Care
The Covid pandemic made things even more challenging. During that time, five adults lived in my 2,100-square-foot home, and four of us worked remotely. Privacy was a luxury, and stress levels ran high. I often found myself rearranging my workspace to accommodate others, putting their needs before my own.
Looking back, I realized that I had spent much of my adult life accommodating others.
I got married young, had children early, and dedicated years to making sure everyone else was taken care of. At the time, I thought I had been looking after myself, but menopause forced me to confront a harsh truth. The truth was, I had been neglecting my own needs.
That realization wasn’t easy. It felt uncomfortable at first, even selfish. But deep down, I knew something had to change. I could no longer live on autopilot, putting myself last. I had to take back control.
How I Started Prioritizing Myself
The first step was acknowledging that self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Once I accepted that, I took small, consistent steps to rebuild my relationship with myself.
Menopause wasn’t just a physical transformation. It was a mental and emotional awakening. I shared more about this realization in my blog: The Truth About Unlocking Happiness Within Myself.
If you’re navigating menopause, I want you to know that you’re not alone. There is no universal cure, but there are ways to take control of your own journey.
Managing Menopause Stress Through Mindset Work
Since stress had been one of my biggest menopause triggers, I made it a priority to retrain my brain.
I used several mindset tools that truly helped:
Daily affirmations: I wrote and repeated powerful statements like “I am strong, resilient, and in control of my health.”
Visualization exercises: I pictured myself feeling vibrant, energized, and confident.
Guided meditation: Listening to calming audio tracks helped me shift my anxious thoughts.
Reframing negative beliefs: Instead of saying, “Menopause is ruining my life,” I changed it to “Menopause is guiding me toward deeper self-care.”
These small mindset shifts made a huge impact. Instead of feeling like a victim of menopause, I began to see it as an opportunity to reconnect with myself and step into a new chapter of life.
Why I Shared My Menopause JourneyÂ
I wrote this blog because I wished someone had told me these things earlier. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know this: You are not alone.
Menopause can feel isolating, but together, we can support each other through the ups and downs.